Summer Of Change
Most summers we travel as a family, for at least three weeks or so. And, of course, every winter break we head back home to Pakistan for about 2 weeks (I still call it home despite having lived in San Francisco for over 25 years:) Nadir and I have been in San Francisco, since July 21st 1997 and have come a loooong way - personally and professionally. We've tried to foster the kind of environment at home where friends of our children always feel welcomed at our place. In fact, we love the laughter, energy, exuberance and mess that accompanies teenagers, especially when it’s inside our house. Perhaps, that need/desire/comfort comes from how we were both raised as children. The Pakistani culture is such that at any given time one has guests visiting, family staying over or friends of family visiting or staying over at your home. Some of my friends here in SF (notice, I didn’t say Frisco or San Fran … cringe) get surprised at how often we have house guests and I always tell them that staying at a hotel is never an option for our guests. Sometimes, it gets too much, of course, but we wouldn’t have it any other way. This summer however, while we are definitely heading for our vacation, it will be a very short one as we need to get ourselves organized for yet another college drop-off. More about that in a bit.
Anyway, going back to how far we’ve come, takes me back to the early stage of our lives here, beginning in 1997. We lived paycheck to paycheck in our suuuuper cute and teeny tiny apartment in Nob Hill - at the corner of Clay and Larkin - when we first arrived in California. I remember, that we would buy our groceries at Cala Foods (now Trader Joes, I believe) and walk back to our place carrying the heavy bags because we did not own a car at the time. We would eat home cooked meals, 6 days a week, that I would put together after long chats and recipe shares with my Ami in Karachi. They tasted terrible!!!! I had never cooked before (spoilt much) and Nadir was my very sweet guinea pig, who, willingly and with zero complaints, ate whatever I put on the table. 2 years ago, he told me that the food I used to make was not very good:)) On Saturdays, we would splurge and go out to eat. My sweetest memory is that we would dress up to the nines (I tried even then despite an extremely limited budget) but then take the bus to the restaurant. On Sundays, we would clean our home and do the laundry (we were fortunate to have a washer and dryer in the building) and then I would iron all of Nadir’s shirts since we couldn’t afford to pay for dry cleaning. Come Monday, Nadir would take a bus to work and I would take a bus or walk to my work, which was at a recruiting firm (btw, I was sooo not cut out for it).
As time passed, we progressed in life and moved to a slightly bigger apartment in Cow Hollow. Soon after, Isaad came along and decided to sleep every day from 3PM to 9PM and then scream his lungs out till 6 AM! Yes, this continued till he was 8 months old. One night, having barely slept for many weeks, I passed out and woke up to find Nadir and Isaad both missing from our apartment. What had happened was that Isaad had dozed off in his car seat and Nadir fearful of waking him up decided to take him for a short drive to make sure he continued to stay asleep. I bet all the moms and dads reading this can imagine what happened next, right? The only way Isaad would sleep from then on, would be in his car seat while being driven by Nadir and sometimes by me! Oh well, that became our new bedtime routine for Isaad.
Lulu on the other hand, who was born 3 years after Isaad, had a slightly different take on life … and sleep. She decided to scare the hell out of us the very first night we brought her home. She slept for 6 hours straight without a peep or any need for milk! We also never had to child proof the home with her or take her for loooong drives in the middle of the night to help her sleep. She just went with the flow and still does so, our Lulu. She was and still is supremely resourceful. When she was three years old, Lyali created a tall “ladder” made out of 8 pillows that she piled up and then placed on top of a Dora the Explorer sofa chair to reach some books on the top shelf of her closet. Thank GOD she didn’t fall and cut her head open but when I asked her why she didn’t call out to me or Baba for help, her reply was practical and rather simple. She said: “ I knew how to get my books and did not need you”.
Interestingly enough, my children needing me has been one of the greatest privileges of my life. Yes, I am crying as I write this sentence. Life just flies by and before you know it, it’s time to drop your babies to college. Please don’t get me wrong, because I could not be happier or more excited to go to New York in August to drop my baby to her college and that too at the same one as her brother’s but life will be so different when we return home.
Nadir and I are very, very, very fortunate in that despite being together for 25 years we still like each other very much:) It does not happen overnight and yes, it’s a lot of work. And although, my life may appear rosy and glamorous and filled with beautiful trips and objects, trust me, it’s not always as glitzy as it looks. Like most married couples, we too have had our ups and downs. And, some very unpleasant downs that we both have had the courage, determination AND deep love for each other to overcome. And of course, far more ups, that make us want to cherish each and every moment with the other. TMI?? Hopefully not, because my aim has always been to be honest and upfront with you.
So, how will life be different? Well, there will be a lot of traveling, of course! And time spent in Sonoma with Maple. With slightly better tasting food than what I prepared in 1997! More time for french classes and work for new clients with whom I have very cool projects planned out, more learning from UNICEF and more trips to New York. Sorry Lulu and Isaad, I need you now - perhaps a bit more than you think you’ll need me - so while I may not become a permanent fixture in your new city, I’ll be coming a fair bit. Brace yourself, my babies!!
